Tips for living: How to act at family reunions

If it's June, it must be the beginning of family-reunion season. And you're thanking your lucky stars that it wasn't your turn to plan it this time around.

But just because you didn't have to plan it doesn't mean you're off the hook. Somebody — or even a committee — went to the trouble of deciding the program. It may be an elaborate reunion in an exotic location or a picnic in the park. Wherever it is, what are your obligations?

• Be sure to RSVP. The organizers need to know how many people will be there, so don't make them guess about you.
• Reunions aren't free, so pay your fair share promptly. Many families divide the costs and let you know how much your bill is. 
• If it's a potluck event, make sure you get your dish there on time. If it's supposed to be cold, keep it cold. If it's supposed to be hot, insulate the dish while it's being transported.
• Speaking of food, control yourself when you're filling your plate and remember that others will want to eat, too. If your 10-year-old grabs nine brownies, that's probably at least seven too many. 
• Let your children know before the reunion what kind of behavior you expect from them. Once there, watch to make sure they haven't forgotten what you talked about.
• Talk to others, not just your immediate family. Introduce yourself to people you don't recognize. But in the conversations, it's best to avoid some topics, such as differences in politics and/or religion.
• Be gracious. If you find yourself getting stressed about what's going on or you disagree with how some of the activities are going, just chill. It may not be the way you would have done it, but just go with the flow and enjoy the moment.
• Body language is important. Try to look like you're enjoying your time together — not like you'd rather be anywhere else.
• Thank organizers for their planning and work. A follow-up note would be appreciated.
  

E-mail: rwalsh@desnews.com