Time to focus on what's most important

It's that time of year when families lose a month of summer because we're bombarded with the reality of going back to school.
 
With our without young children, you are likely to still feel the ripple effect — adult children going back to college, or a daughter hitting that point of insanity as she schedules the grandkids' physicals at the last minute while still planning a vacation.

One piece of advice during this love-hate transition: simplify.

In "Simplify: A Guide to Caring for the Soul," Carolyn J. Rasmus writes, "To simplify is about enhancing our ability to focus on things that really matter, to deliberately choose our priorities, and to refuse to let unimportant things take over the things of real importance."

This fall we have a fresh opportunity to deliberately choose what is core for ourselves and our families, and then focus our best energies on those things.

What is going to be core for you and your family?

One woman I know said she wants to take a year off from children's extracurricular activities, because of her absolute exhaustion at the end of the past school year.

Other women I know are letting go of one sport, one camp, one after-school program or one day of volunteering in the school — all good things, mind you — when it just isn't helping their families accomplish their core goals.

The other day I pulled out a piece of paper, drew a mock empty calendar for one month and filled in all the things we would be doing in an average month.

This included "Core" activities such as church (both on Sunday and during the week), family night, date night for Mom and Dad, our traditional pizza Friday Family Fun, and Scouts.

Then I added in piano, flute, ballet and soccer. With six children, it didn't take much to fill the schedule — even though the kids each choose only one "extra" to be involved in.

Add to that everyday activities (chores, carpooling, etc.) and the calendar looks pretty full — and school hasn't even started yet.

By that time I had started feeling my blood pressure do strange things. I began thinking that it may be necessary to schedule in "Mom's Weekly Breakdown."

Then my 9-year-old daughter asked if she could do clogging.

After looking at the class information, it was possible to fit it in, but it wasn't wise.

We had a heart-to-heart, chatting about what she already had committed to for the year (flute, church activities, homework, playdates, chill time, family time) and how she would want the time and energy to enjoy them.

We talked about how she was nine, which meant she had a lot of living yet to do and plenty of time to try clogging.

She agreed. I realized yet again that I am the mother and I set the tone in the home and schedule.

In her book, Rasmus states: "Sometimes we are the guilty ones — we put things on ourselves that stretch us beyond our capacity to bear.

"When we look at our priorities, we might be doing things that don't need to be done.

Do cookies really have to be homemade? Does a name tag have to be hand-colored to be effective?"

And I would add, does a sport or activity really need to happen this year?

As the parent, you and I can help our families decide what schedule will make for a happy and balanced family ahead of time.

That means, of course, more time to enjoy the last days loving summer.

E-mail: info@LIFEChangeProgram.com