Flynn says good results start with a reliable pattern

Provided by Deseret Book

DeAnne Flynn

Sewing pants would be pretty tricky if it wasn't for a reliable pattern. The same is true for creating a solid family life, says DeAnne Flynn, an author and presenter for Deseret Book's Time Out For Women.

Flynn is a presenter for the second year in a row at the nationwide event which centers around self-improvement. Last year, she focused her message on her book, "The Time-Starved Family," and this year, the mother of seven will share her thoughts on the ways women can draw on good patterns.

"If you want a good result, then start with a pattern," she said in a recent interview.

And the ultimate patterns are laid out in the gospel, in Jesus Christ's example, in the scriptures. She said sometimes parents might fall short of the kind of parents they long to be. But unless they make a concerted effort — unless they identify and try to align their lives with good patterns — it will be difficult to consistently change.

Flynn refers to a funny experience where her daughter in elementary school brought her favorite green, stretchy pants to school for a project in which the class would fashion a new pair of pants based on the old pair. Because the material on her pattern was stretchy, and fabric they were making pants out of wasn't, her new pair was way too small.

"I draw parallels on that," Flynn said. "Maybe we're short with our kids. Or maybe we use corrupt language. ... Or we don't listen the way we should. ... I talk about personal patterns, leadership patterns, family patterns, and ways to recognize and establish good patterns in your life."

Flynn said her Time Out For Women message last year has turned into a positive thing for her family. Her book, "The Time-Starved Family," came about when she and some of her friends wondered at how busy they were and how stressed it made them and their families.

"I just noticed that my friends and I were constantly complaining about how busy we were," she said. "Why are we doing this?" she wondered.

She started eliminating things like lessons, practices and sports, and instead concentrated on slowing down.

"I started really concentrating on having a sit-down dinner most nights," Flynn said. "(We) focused on doing the basics really well. Our lives changed dramatically."

Flynn was a broadcast news reporter and anchor before having her first child at 27. She said she really enjoys the interaction that takes place in Time Out For Women, as there's a wonderful exchange between the audience and presenter. And there's something almost magical about having a hall full of several hundred women who all are after self-improvement.

"I strongly believe that there is power in a room full of women," Flynn said. "They all want the same thing. They want to improve their lives and their families' lives."

She also appreciated the way the program isn't exclusive to members of the church. Self- and family-improvement isn't exclusive to Mormon women, she said.

"No matter what religion you are, no matter how many children you have, you want your children to believe that there is hope in the world."

Flynn said that even the best parents with the best intentions and patterns will fall short of their goals, even when they base their patterns on the gospel. That's the way things work with children who have minds and agency of their own. But a parent's chances are obviously better to start out with a purpose than to just wing it, she said.

"There's a better probability of having good outcomes if we start with good patterns."

E-mail: mfarmer@desnews.com